Finding the Words
by markaleen
Summary: (Continuation of Lost and Found) After confiding in Ginger about her feelings for the Professor, Mary Ann contemplates if (or when) she should act on them.
1. Chapter 1

**Thank you to everyone who left such kind reviews on Lost and Found! It means a lot. A guest and Hartkins suggested a continuation... it ended up turning into multiple chapters. (I have a few written and a couple more to write but I didn't want to wait to start uploading.) I hope you enjoy!**

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"Are you listening to me, Mary Ann?"

Upon hearing her name, Mary Ann looked up from the papers in her hand. The way she was looking through them they might as well have been transparent. After an initial, "Hmm?" she shook her head and apologized to Ginger.

"I'm sorry, is it my line?"

"For the dozenth time, yes."

"Sorry," she said again. "Where were we?"

With a roll of her eyes, Ginger took the script from Mary Ann's hands and tossed it on the vanity. "Forget about it."

"No, no, I promise I'll pay attention."

"That's what you said when we were rehearsing earlier."

Mary Ann sighed. "My mind is someplace else today, I suppose."

Now sitting on the edge of her bed with a nail file, Ginger said, "Today, yesterday, the day before that..."

"You only asked me to read with you today."

"Yesterday you burnt dinner because of your daydreaming. The day before you plumb forgot to hang the laundry. What's going on? This isn't like you a bit. I'm starting to worry."

Moving to her own bed, Mary Ann said, "Everything's all right, Ginger. I promise. I'd tell you if it wasn't, you know that."

"The way you've been distracted it's hard to tell," Ginger said.

"Can't distraction be a good thing?"

"Is it?"

Mary Ann gave a playful shrug. "More so than bad."

A hint of a grin appearing on Ginger's face, she leaned forward resting her elbows on her knees. "How good?"

Now was Mary Ann's turn to roll her eyes. "Don't get excited. It's just something that happened with the Professor the other day."

"What kind of something?"

Cheeks growing warm, Mary Ann shyly smiled. "I'm not sure how to explain it."

"Try," Ginger hummed.

Quiet for a few seconds, Mary Ann then gave in.

"He was cute," she started. "When he found me in that cave after the storm he was so concerned."

"That's it?" Ginger asked as she sat up, disappointment evident in her voice.

"Let me finish," Mary Ann said. "We chatted while we were walking back to camp. As we did, he seemed distracted. Maybe that's not the most fitting word. Lost in thought? Whatever it is, I asked him if everything was all right. I got the strangest answers. Strange for the Professor, I mean."

"How so?"

"Short and simple sentences."

"Say it ain't so!" the actress gasped, resulting in both girls breaking into a fit of laughter.

"Exactly," Mary Ann said as they settled down. "But that wasn't the oddest part."

With a rolling motion of her hand, Ginger said, "Well, go on."

"I can't remember the conversation word for word, but I asked him something along the lines of him telling me if something was bothering him. I do remember he answered by saying, 'Someday'. When I asked what that meant he kissed my head."

"The Professor?" Ginger had read enough scenes with the Professor to know he was anything but a leading man. When they first came to the island he barely knew how to kiss a girl. It left her to assume he wasn't all too interested in women. "That is surprising."

"I wouldn't have questioned it as much had it been when he freed me from the cave or even if our conversation played out differently." Mary Ann continued. "It's not the first time he's stumbled on his words around me, but this was definitely a first."

"Please tell me I don't have to be the one to draw the conclusion for you."

"No... but I have my doubts."

"How did you respond to him?" Ginger asked.

Mary Ann shrugged. "I smiled and touched his cheek. At the time it felt so obvious what he was trying to tell me. Now that I've had time to think about it I'm second-guessing myself."

Ginger stood to move next to Mary Ann. There, she put an arm around her, saying, "That always leads to trouble... makes great romance plots for movies, but not exactly what you'd dream of in real life. You know how shy the Professor can be. You're going to have to help him."

"Wait a minute," Mary Ann said, scooting away from Ginger. "It's not as simple as all that. I have to consider where we are. If he were a friend back home then yes, I probably would say something. But here?"

"Why not here? You can't ask for a more intimate place to start a romance."

Mary Ann twisted her lips. "A little too intimate if you ask me."

"You're not completely isolated."

"That's just it. Everyone here is so close that I feel like we'd be constantly watched." She chuckled. "Imagine Mrs. Howell. She'd insist on us being chaperoned at all times."

Despite knowing how true the statement was, Ginger brushed off the comments. "Details. All of which can be sorted out later."

"Ginger, please. I didn't tell you so you could play matchmaker. I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet. I'll admit the whole thing makes me smile but that isn't enough to change our entire relationship."

"But you feel the same way."

Looking down at her hands, Mary Ann replied, "I never said that."

"But it's true," Ginger persisted.

Mary Ann struggled to find an appropriate response. How could she say she felt the same way without knowing for sure what the Professor meant to say? She could hope and assume, and there was a general idea in the air, but a miscommunication was too risky — especially given he clearly wasn't ready to admit to anything aloud. And when it came down to it, neither was she.

"Potentially," was the word on which she settled. "I shouldn't say anything when I'm this uncertain."

Half-nodding her head, Ginger stood up and stretch. "Well," she breathed, "it's nice to know there's a spark in him somewhere. If you're not going to draw it out, I think I'll have another go."

Without any thought, Mary Ann short to her feet, catching Ginger's arm. "No, wait!"

Ginger smirked once she turned back to Mary Ann, who blushed upon realizing the implications of her reaction. Implications they both knew she couldn't deny.


	2. Chapter 2

Convincing Ginger to keep quiet wasn't easy. Mary Ann pondered this as she washed Ginger's share of the dishes — part of the secrecy bargain. She was ready to call it a night, though, part of her was glad to have something to keep her busy.

Before her conversation with Ginger, she didn't feel at all awkward around the Professor. This changed at dinner when she kept catching Ginger's sly glances. The Professor didn't seem to notice for which she was thankful. The last thing she wanted to do was embarrass him, let alone embarrass him in front of the others. She hoped by morning everything would blow over.

"Mind if I add one more?"

Mary Ann jumped at the Professor's voice coming up from behind her.

"I didn't mean to startle you," he said, setting an empty pie plate beside her on the table.

"I'm surprised you managed to beat Gilligan to the last slice," she said in amusement.

The Professor chuckled. "I didn't. I noticed it on the table. I thought Ginger was on dish duty tonight."

"She was," Mary Ann replied. "We... switched nights."

The Professor nodded, not inquiring further to her relief.

"You were quiet at dinner," he said, leaning against the water basin. "Did something happen?"

With a faint smile, Mary Ann said, "I'm a bit tired but nothing's the matter." Not a complete fib, she thought.

"Good."

When the Professor lingered, Mary Ann cocked an eye in his direction. He almost looked guilty.

"Is everything all right with _you_?"

"Oh, yes," he said as though shaken from deep thought.

After several more seconds of silence, she said, "… You knew I was here and not Ginger."

"Well..."

"Is that the reason brought the plate?" she then asked. "To check on me?"

With a mix of amusement and timidity, the Professor replied, "Nothing gets past you, does it?"

"Farm girl's intuition," she teased.

"A feeble excuse, I admit," he said while he nudged her arm. "I'm glad you're okay."

Mary Ann smiled. "Thank you."

Going back to the dishes, she watched the Professor from the corner of her eye. He moved away from the basin and paced a couple of feet fidgeting his hands all the while. Her own nerves kicked in again. Had Ginger said something after all? Is that the real reason he came? While he was the most considerate of the men about doing little things to help with the women's chores, it was strange he should go so far out of his way at this hour.

When he still didn't say goodnight or leave, Mary Ann half-turned to him, keeping her eyes cast down on the dish she was drying and asked, "Is there something else you need? I know the stew tonight wasn't your favorite. Are you hungry?"

"No, no. I'm not hungry. I just thought you'd like some company."

"I won't say no to that," she said. "Are you sure you want to waste your time? Haven't you been working on a new experiment?"

"I was," the Professor said with a glum tone.

She reached for another dish. "What happened?"

"Gilligan."

Mary Ann laughed, finding it easier to look at him again. "You knew the risk."

"I did," he said with a mix of a sigh and laugh. "One of these days I'll build myself a laboratory away from camp."

Mary Ann instructed the Professor to dry the pan she'd finished washing by handing him it along with towel as he continued.

"The jungle poses many threats, however, would be the best access for materials. The lagoon is out of the question as are any of the beaches. One of the caves would serve well, though I worry about ventilation in the event of a toxic chemical reaction..."

They got into a rhythm of washing and drying, Mary Ann listening intently as the Professor tossed around ideas for his potential laboratory and experiments he wanted to conduct. By the time the dishes were done, she felt much more at ease with him. His awkwardness left him, too. Everything felt normal again.

Yet, when they said goodnight, Mary Ann couldn't help but feel like he'd left something unsaid.


	3. Chapter 3

Normalcy continued into the next day. The castaways went about their morning routines and tasks. Conversations with Ginger returned to normal things and the Professor had his nose in a book. Mary Ann prepared lunch, intently listening to her soap opera and almost forgetting the mess she'd almost made for herself the day before.

As glad as she was to get through the discussion with the Professor without a slip of the tongue, she couldn't help but feel she'd missed an opportunity. There was still the question of whether or not Ginger broke her promise. If this were the case, then he might have come hoping for some sort of signal. And that was the problem. She was just as unsure as he was.

Saying a relationship would be difficult to start on the island wasn't a cop-out. There were more important matters at hand. That was especially true of the Professor. He was their best chance off of the island. Lord knows whoever may their way onto the island won't find a way to send a rescue when they get off. He needed the distraction least of all. She had her worries, too. Feeding seven people is time-consuming enough without having to scavenge and experiment with recipes to keep meals at least somewhat interesting. Taking time out to start over in a new light wasn't realistic.

So why did the thought always make her smile?

A dumb question, she told herself.

Maybe Ginger was right. The sooner she spoke to the Professor about this the sooner it would be resolved. Surely he understood the obstacles. He'd probably agree. Still, she needed a way to say this to him without making him think she wasn't at all interested.

. . .

"Ginger? You around?"

Mary Ann hadn't been listening much earlier when everyone talked about the afternoon's plans. This made looking for Ginger difficult. She thought she'd mentioned something about going down to the lagoon but wasn't there when she looked. She wasn't doing the laundry, that was another chore Mary Ann agreed to take on for the week.

"It's just me here, Mary Ann," Gilligan said, looking over the top of a bush, his butterfly net in hand.

Mary Ann smiled. "Hi, Gilligan. You haven't seen Ginger anywhere, have you?"

Gilligan shook his head as he came around to her. "Not since lunch."

"Rats."

"Something the matter?"

"No, just wanted to ask her opinion on something."

"Well, you can ask me my opinion on whatever it is," he said happily.

"Thanks, Gilligan. It's kind of a girl thing."

"Oh..." he said, suddenly uncomfortable.

"Oh, no. I don't mean..." she stopped herself, realizing this was her way out. "I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. If you see Ginger, will you let her know I'm looking for her?"

Gilligan nodded, saying goodbye as he went off to chase a passing butterfly.

Mary Ann continued on, ready to give up when Ginger wasn't with the Skipper or the Howells. Skipper had seen her within the hour, though, wasn't sure which direction she'd gone. Mr. Howell was taking a nap and Mrs. Howell hadn't been out of the hut all afternoon.

"Don't tell me the girl's gone missing," Mrs. Howell said when Mary Ann voiced her frustration. "We'll have to organize another search party."

Mary Ann stopped her before she woke up her husband. "No, she isn't missing. Just running in different circles." Like she had with the others, she asked Mrs. Howell to send Ginger her way should she surface before saying goodbye.

This left the Professor, but she decided not to risk seeing the two of them together. Not while she was so suspicious. An awkward moment with the Professor alone was one thing, with Ginger looking on sounded unbearable.

With some time before dinner, Mary Ann went back to the hut to rest. As it goes, this was where she found Ginger.

"Where have you been? I was all over looking for you."

Ginger shrugged, looking at Mary Ann through the mirror. "I've been here the past half-hour."

With a grumble under her breath, Mary Ann walked to her bed and put up her feet.

"I need to talk to you," she said.

"What about?"

Lowering her voice, Mary Ann answered, "The Professor."

Ginger swung around in her chair. "Please tell me you spoke to him."

"No... but I think I might."

"What are you going to say? Oh, there's time for that later." Standing up, she rushed over to their dressing area. "What's more important is what you wear. It's a shame my dresses are too long for you. Maybe we could pin one? Mrs. Howell probably has something. I'll go check with her."

Mary Ann leaped up and caught Ginger before she was able to reach the door.

"What a minute! What I wear won't make a difference."

"Of course it will!"

"No," she protested.

"Why not?" Ginger questioned.

"Before I answer... I need you to be honest with me."

"Honest about what?"

Taking a quick breath, Mary Ann said, "About the Professor... did you say anything to him?"

"No," she said with a pout. "And I hope you appreciate it. I bumped into him earlier and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."

"Good... thank you. I do appreciate it."

"So, tell me. Why does your outfit not matter?"

"Because," Mary Ann said, "I don't plan to tell him entirely."

"What do you mean?"

Turning away from the door to sit back down on her bed, Mary Ann said, "I'm going to tell him that I know something been going on between us lately. That's why I asked if you told him. He came looking for me last night and I couldn't help but wonder the way he was acting. I'm going to tell him that and say that now isn't the right time to act on anything."

"Not the right time? Honey, what are you waiting for?"

"We all need to focus on getting rescued."

"And what if we're never rescued?" Ginger said.

Mary Ann didn't have a response to this.

Ginger nodded. "That's what I thought."

"It's uncomfortable," Mary Ann said eventually. "As I said yesterday, with so few of us, I feel trapped. There will be too much attention on us."

"Maybe for a day or two, but who cares?"

"I do. I spent my teen years under my family's watchful eye. Now I have a chance for a real relationship and it's going to be the same story. I figure if we wait until we're rescued we'll have more privacy."

"Once we're rescued," Ginger said, tone loving yet stern, "you're going home to Kansas and the Professor is going to go back to teaching."

"I... didn't think of that."

"You have nothing to lose starting something now. And if it doesn't work out-"

"We have to go on trapped here."

"And you'll move on. And what if it works out?"

Once again, Mary Ann didn't have a response. There was no use arguing. Ginger knew as well as she did that she was making these excuses because she was afraid. Perhaps not of the specific reasons, but nevertheless afraid. Afraid to stumble on her words, afraid to make changes to a good friendship, and afraid of the seriousness that would come with a relationship with the Professor.

Frightening, but exciting at the same time.

When Mary Ann didn't say any more, Ginger went back to the vanity. Mary Ann knew Ginger could see her staring at her through the mirror but she failed to acknowledge it beyond a smile. Heart beating fast, Mary Ann gripped the edge of the bed as she made her decision.

"What should I wear?"


	4. Chapter 4

Mary Ann was thankful when dinner was over. Ginger saw to it the Professor sat next to Mary Ann, much too obvious, she thought. Her plan was to talk to him that evening. What difference did it make where he sat? Then, of course, she had to deal with Ginger's winks from across the table. Given how tense the Professor was by the end of the meal, Mary Ann knew he was suspicious.

Ginger freed her from her chores, something Mary Ann should have anticipated but didn't. She'd been counting on that time to figure out what to say to the Professor. Saying something in a natural moment seemed to be the best option. However, with Ginger's excitement, she worried everyone would find out before the opportunity arose. Once Gilligan caught wind, time would wait for nothing.

She went to the hut to change into the outfit chosen earlier. Nothing special given the air turned chilly. She'd thought about her long-sleeved dress but thought it too unusual without a pre-arranged occasion. She settled on pants, a crop-top, and a sweater (much to Ginger's chagrin). Anything was better than the dress she wore preparing dinner. Mary Ann kept having to remind her friend she was merely going to talk to him – attempt to get things out in the open. Away from civilization or not, she still believed the man should be the one to make the first move. She really didn't have any expectations for the outcome.

She found the Professor in his hut reading. Glad she wasn't disturbing an experiment, she walked over to his table when he invited her in.

"Lovely night," she said after hello. Her voice shook the slightest bit. "I came by to see if you'd like to take a walk around the lagoon."

Closing his book, the Professor looked up. "I, uh..."

Shoulders dropping, she said, "It's all right. I know you're probably busy. I was... walking by and figured I'd ask."

She turned to go, but the Professor stopped her.

"Wait a minute," he said. Mary Ann turned as he stood and continued.

"I would love to."

Refusing to start off with pity, she said, "Really, Professor. You don't have to drop what you're doing. Some other time, maybe."

"Really, I want to. I'm sorry, I was just surprised to see you here."

"How come?"

"What was going on at dinner?" he asked outright. "You couldn't say two words to me and Ginger was acting peculiar."

"Well," Mary Ann said meekly, "that's the real reason I came by."

"Oh?"

"Do you mind if we walk and talk?"

Though his hesitance was still present, the Professor agreed, placing a light hand on her back as he escorted her out of the hut.

. . .

Despite it being the purpose of their walk, the Professor and Mary Ann did little talking. Not until they were halfway to the lagoon. That was when the Professor couldn't bear the silence any longer.

"Mary Ann, is what you wanted to talk to me about of a serious nature? If so, I don't think I can stand the wait."

"No," she said, keeping her eyes forward. "No, it's nothing serious. Not in the way you appear to be thinking."

"What is it then?"

Mary Ann sighed. "I've spent the last few minutes trying to figure out what to say."

After a pause, the Professor said, "Does it have to do with what's been going on between us?"

She turned her head toward him, surprised by how easily his words flowed. "Actually, yes."

While the words had come smoothly, the Professor's shoulders now stiffened. "Ginger knows?"

"Yes," Mary Ann admitted. "I'm sorry. I've been thinking about you a lot lately and-"

He cut her off. "You don't need to explain."

"I feel I must."

"Go on," he said, though not without irritation.

"I can't make heads or tails of what's going on anymore. I thought Ginger might be able to help... a little too much help it seems."

She continued. "A lot of things go unsaid between us. For all we know we aren't talking about the same thing right now. Everything's based on assumptions."

The reached the lagoon. Having no further to go, Mary Ann stepped in front of the Professor, hoping he'd meet her eye.

"I think we are," he said eventually. "Talking about the same thing, I mean."

"Then why can't we say it?"

After clearing his throat a couple of times, the Professor started, "I believe it's a common trend among people in platonic relationships. When one or both of the parties involved feel a shift in their emotional connection, one or both find difficulty, as well as fear, in-"

"Professor," she cut off, no longer able to keep up with the speed of his babbling. "I'm not asking for scientific reasoning. I want to know why **you and I** can't find the words to say what we want to say. We've been through a lot together. A whole lot. After headhunters, apes, dictators, and kidnappers, why is this so difficult?"

The Professor looked at her with sullen eyes, wishing he had the perfect answer to sum everything up. His gaze was mixed with ever-increasing worry.

Mary Ann answered for him. "I know there are a lot of risks involved. Believe me, I've thought of all the bad things that could come of you and me together. But then I think of the good things... and I think of all that we might be missing by avoiding all that could go wrong."

A small smile appeared. That smile grew when he took her hands. "You have to be the most wonderful woman I've ever met."

"Well," she began. "I can't take all the credit. Ginger helped find my nerve."

With a chuckle, he said, "I don't say it solely in response to what you said. You are a remarkable person. You were when we met you and even more so the longer I've known you. There was a time when I could focus on my work and nothing else. Now I'm lucky if I can get through an experiment without thoughts of you filling my head."

Unsure how to respond to the compliment, Mary Ann threw her arms around him, tears of joy threatening to fall. The Professor hugged back with equal force. Though their conversation was far from over, the ambiguity of the future no longer mattered for a moment.


	5. Chapter 5

Together they sat admiring the night sky above the lagoon despite the crispness of the air. They spoke some more. As much as they could. Topics came and went, both feeling the most relaxed in each others company than they had in a long time.

"You still haven't said it," Mary Ann murmured at one point during a lull, her head comfortably against his shoulder.

"Haven't said what?"

"How you feel about me."

"Sure I did," the Professor replied.

Sitting up the slightest bit, she said, "Not really. We've talked about why we've been afraid to say anything and laughed about how in-tune Ginger has been to the whole thing and how we needed her nudge. But you really haven't put anything to words."

Shifting uncomfortably, he said, "I assumed everything was implied."

"Yes, but it's still nice to hear. And there is one question that hasn't been answered."

"What question is that?"

"What we're going to do about it."

The Professor sighed, formulating his words carefully. "Mary Ann..." he stopped, turning more toward her and moving her head. "I can't tell you how many times I've tried to piece together what I've wanted to say to you. It's no secret how inadequate I am when deep emotion is involved. Even now that I know for sure you feel similarly."

"I'm not looking for a sonnet, Professor."

He chuckled. "Maybe I've heard one too many of Ginger's movie plots. Rehearsing with her is the closest I've ever been to a romance."

Mary Ann's brow furrowed, not wanting the image of him practicing love scenes with another woman at the moment. "That isn't real," she said for her sake more than his.

"I know it isn't."

She watched him as he processed more thoughts, the struggle to speak persisting much to his frustration. As much as she believed he should be the one to say things first, she remembered what Ginger had said.

"_You're going to have to help him."_

Mary Ann fumbled with his hands, giving him a few more seconds to say something on his own. When he didn't, her eyes moved up and away from their laps. She wasn't sure what she was going to say either.

So she didn't say anything. Instead, she kissed him. It was a soft kiss, not too eager, letting him control how deep it went.

He grasped her hands which were still laid across their knees, letting his lips lingers on hers. After several more seconds pass, they pulled away, Mary Ann smiling while the Professor wore a more serious look.

Voice low, he started, "You really are..." but trailed off again.

Seeing his discouragement, Mary Ann stroked his cheek, accepting no good was going to come of force. After all, only a week ago she resolved not to rush him. All along he'd made it clear he wasn't ready, even if he wanted to be. A pang of guilt struck her now, realizing how selfish she was being.

"It's okay," she said, resting her forehead against his instinctively. "I'm sorry."

"I'm the one who's sorry."

With a grin, she said, "I'd rather have a man care about me so much he can't say it than a man who'll say he loves me just to win me for an evening."

This brought out his smile. "I do care for you. Immensely."

Care, she thought. She'd found a starting place.

"And I care for you."

Hesitation lightening, the Professor closed the little distance that was between them, this time taking her into his arms.

"We'll take things as they come," Mary Ann said when they broke, though didn't rush to move out of his reach.

The Professor nodded in agreement, unable to resist the urge to kiss her again.

Mary Ann smiled against him. With each caress, a little more tension melted away. It wouldn't be long until he came out of his shell. While she couldn't help but wonder if she had made the right decisions tonight or not, she was thrilled that, at the very least, something had been set in motion – without question.


	6. Epilogue

Mary Ann returned to her and Ginger's hut minding any noise she might make readying for bed. It'd been a good two hours since she'd left for the lagoon. Ginger must be at least dozing off. And when she hadn't greeted her, she was sure she was sound asleep.

Given this assumption, she jumped a foot when Ginger spoke as she was climbing into bed.

"Late night, hmm?"

The alertness of her voice told Mary Ann she'd been waiting up this whole time.

Hand over her racing heart, Mary Ann said, "You mustn't startle me like that!"

Ginger laughed. "You should have known I wasn't going to sleep until I heard what happened."

Laying down, Mary Ann said coyly, "Really, Ginger. I shouldn't kiss and tell."

A smirk crossed her friend's face. "Thatta girl!"

"Now don't you go getting overexcited," Mary Ann said. "We're not rushing into anything. Yes, we kissed and talked a little bit, but it's going to take time. We're both unsure of ourselves. And I'm okay with that."

"I should have known you two wouldn't generate any kind of juicy gossip."

"Please, promise you won't say anything to the others. We don't want anyone to know yet. I think the Professor is embarrassed as it is knowing you're aware."

"Cross my heart," Ginger said. She liked the idea of being the keeper of this secret — what fun she could have!

"And Mary Ann?" she added after a moment.

"Yes?"

"Think about calling him 'Roy' one of these days."

Mary Ann grinned as she turned on her side, glad it went unnoticed in the dark. Without responding to the comment, she said goodnight.

_Ginger doesn't need to know everything._

**The end.**

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**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, especially classictv and autumnrose2010! **


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